Yesterday, in an attempt to poke fun at myself, I posted the following on Facebook:
I have (as far as I know) a rare condition. If an object is just far enough away that I can't make out what it is, I automatically see it as food. For example, my wife had left a striped rag on a table in our room after cleaning. From my chair, it looked like a plate of striped fudge (boy was I disappointed.) I've searched and searched the Internet and I can't find an official name for this. Rare medical conditions are like distant objects in the sky. If you find it, you name it. (Okay. It probably doesn't work like that. Cut a fat guy a break.) So, I'm calling it fatsightedness.
Like any person (loser) who writes a post with a fake "rare medical condition" that receives 11 "likes" on Facebook...I submitted my new word (fatsighted) to Urban Dictionary. They've since approved it (you can see it here). So, when people want to now what's taking so long to write my book...I'll point them to this blog post. And, if you could've seen my wife's face when I said, "Cool. Look dear, I can even get a mug with my word and the definition printed on it!"...you'd probably have a better understanding of why it's taking me so long to have sex again.
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