¡SATIRISTAS!

At the risk of turning this blog into a shrine for Paul Provenza, I want to share an excerpt from the introduction to his book, "¡SATIRISTAS!" I picked up a copy at TAM and it's really a great book (the photography by Dan Dion is wonderful). Ok, here's goes. Speaking about satirists, Provenza pens the following:

"...because they want you to listen and pay attention, because they want you to relate, because they want you to think, because they want you to get angry, because they want you to know you're not alone, because they want you to wake up, because they want you to learn, because they want you to understand them, because they want you to understand yourself, because they want us to understand each other, because they want you to be skeptical, because they want you to feel passion, because they want you to be empowered, because they want you to be free, because the truth will set you free, because they want to tell the truth, because they want us to discover the truth, because truth is absolute, because, as William Shakespeare said, "Jesters do oft prove prophets," because as Dario Fo said, "With comedy I can search for the profound," because as Moliere said, "The duty of comedy is to correct men by amusing them," because as Mark Twain said, "Against the assault of laughter, nothing can stand," because as George Orwell said, "Whatever is funny is subversive," because as Edmund Burke said, "The only thing necessary for the triumph over evil is for good men to do nothing," and because we all know what happens if someone doesn't stand up and say, "Stop drinking the Kool-Aid!," the only thing that matters is the laugh." 

You NEED this book! Fortunately, I've got your back. Here's the link to click to pick up your own copy. 

Just Me and Paul Provenza podcasting...no biggie.

I was fortunate enough to be able to attend my first TAM (The Amazing Meeting) this year in Vegas. I had so many wonderful experiences and met so many wonderful people. This is one of my favorite pictures from TAM...maybe ever (the picture was taken by Ed Ondrick. Thanks, Ed!). Just me and Paul Provenza...podcasting (I'm the dipshit with the stupid beard wearing a stupid hat).

And then one more with Don Novella (Father Guido Sarducci) after the show.

 

Emery and Heather asked me to moderate the "Wall of Reason" during the Ardent Atheist podcast on November 18, 2011. It's one of the most enjoyable things I've done in my life. I've met a ton of great people and heard a bunch of great shows. I'll never forget being on the show with Provenza and Don. I probably said less than 50 words (I was nervous) and really only had one funny line, but it was a truly AMAZING experience. I'll add the link to the episode in this post as soon as it's available. I'll share more of my TAM experiences soon. I'm still trying to wrap my head around how much fun I had. I can't wait for next year!

UPDATE:
Here's the link to this episode of Ardent Atheist (episode 115).

My Kid is 13 and I Have a Stupid, Stupid Beard

My son, Jeffery, is 13 today. I'm 39. I'm three times as old as him. This won't happen again (I think, right?) It's a big deal (no it's not). You know what's crazy, man? If you add the two digits of his age (I'll help you. 1+3= 4) and the digits of my age (hint: it's 12), guess what? My number is still three times more. Do you have any idea what this means?!? It means I'm tired and stupid...and if you add the numbers from his birthday this year (like this: 7+2+7+1+3) and the numbers from my birthday this year (5+2+9+1+3) they both equal 20. And if you add the two twenties together you get 40, which is how old I'll be next year. You know what that means?!? That in addition to tired and stupid, I'm also old. Old, tired, and stupid. With a stupid beard and a brain that won't shut the fuck up. Happy birthday, kiddo. Oh yeah, I almost forgot. I'm gonna start writing here again. Try to contain your excitement.

When No Means Kill?

I've blogged before about my son's version of the Pledge of Allegiance, but for those of you who don't hang on my every post (Why the hell is that anyway? Maybe it's my overuse of the parenthetical citation)...I'll recap it for you. During the Pledge, he covers his heart with his right hand, like every other kid in school. Just before they are to recite the words "under god", he takes his right hand from his chest and slides it up to cover his mouth for those two words. He then casually returns his hand to his chest to say the important part, "...with liberty and justice for all."  This was not something I had talked to him about. The first time I saw him do it was during his fifth grade "graduation". Before that, I had not given much thought to him reciting the Pledge. It was something he had come up with on his own, and I have to admit...it made me very proud.

He is in sixth grade now, and is still doing the same thing each morning. A few weeks back, a few of the students noticed him covering his mouth during the Pledge and confronted him after class. Their question: "Do you believe in god?" My son's response was simple: "No". This did not sit well with a few of his classmates. After some pushing and name calling, it seemed the incident had come to an end. When my son came home from school, he didn't mention any of this to us. Later that night, he was playing games on Facebook (Yes we're "awful" parents...we let our sixth grader use Facebook) when a string of threatening messages were sent to him by two of his classmates. I am not going to share the entire message thread, but I will say that on more than one occasion he was sent, "I am going to kill you tomorrow" (After one of those my son asked, "why, because I'm an atheist?"...to which the boy replied, "No dumbass, because you don't believe in god. I don't know what atheist means"). It was after this last comment that my son came to me and explained what was going on. He was very frightened. He couldn't understand how his simple answer of "no" could anger anyone so much. I wish I didn't...but I do. There's nothing worse than seeing you child hurt or afraid.

I was able to contact the parents of both children and the situation was diffused. However, one of the mothers said something that really shocked me. When I explained to her that it seemed the "genesis" of the disagreement was that my son doesn't believe in god, she replied, "Oh, well we're Catholic. I can see why my son got confused." CONFUSED!!! WTF'nF!!!  I don't think either one of these two boys intended to kill my son. But I do think religion is teaching them they are superior to other people. Not that their ideas and beliefs are superior...but THEY are superior. That seems very dangerous to me.

We allowed our son to stay home from school the next day. When he did return to school, the boys apologized to him. All was forgiven. The incident has not deterred him from telling people what he believes however (which was something I was concerned about). A few days later, we were approached at the local mall by a pair of Boy Scouts and their troop leader. They asked him if he was interested in joining, he said, "I'm an atheist, and you don't accept us. I don't want to be where I'm not wanted." As we walked to our car I had a few tears in my eyes. He's also still covering him mouth during "under god". He'll be okay.

I shared the story on Google+ and received many kind words from the people who read it, including Penn Jillette. He later mentioned it towards the end of a Penn Point video he did about atheists being bullied (video below). The video brought a big smile to my son's face. He had one of those "hey, I'm not alone" moments watching it (which, as I've mentioned before, is what Penn's radio show did for me). Penn's a great guy. My heart goes out to that family in Cincinnati he talks about in the video. You are not alone either. We (atheists) all love you.

The Royal Road to a New Hobby

Over the last few months, I have done nothing besides work, and then come home...and work on my book. I mentioned in a previous post that writing a book was harder than I realized, and I think that's partially because I am trying to force myself to finish it as fast as possible. Where's the fire!!! The book will get done. I don't need to rush it. It seems that hurrying through is a bad idea (I'm not that good a writer to begin with). So I'm gonna slow down a bit. Spend a little more time with my wife and son. And...I've decided to pick up a hobby.

I'm trying to learn card magic. I don't have any objective other than learning something new that I currently have no clue how to do. I've been a fan of magic for some time now, and I want to give it a shot. Yesterday, I went to the local magic shop and met a really cool guy named Dennis Haney (he owns the shop). I told him I was just starting out and was looking to buy a few decks of cards. He started to suggest that I pick up "The Royal Road to Card Magic", just as I began telling him that I've had the book for years...but never bothered to open it. I told him that Penn had suggested the book online, and he told me how Penn tells everyone to pick that book up...and they never do. He was extremely kind and offered to help me out and give some pointers if I was interested. I'm going to take him up on this offer. Way too often I jump into something like a ball of fire, and wind up missing some important stuff along the way (you should notice a pattern here...see paragraph one).

You see, the last time I tried to learn a new hobby, I grabbed a guitar. I was so excited to get started. My father is a good guitar player and several of my friends were really good guitar players, so I wanted to jump right in and start playing songs. I learned the basic chord shapes and went online to find tablature (a cheat for people who can't read music) of songs that I liked and was playing pretty quickly. But it was all too fast. I don't know any scales and as I already hinted, I have no clue how to read music. I wanted to be able to play songs right away. As a result, I am a guy who can strum chords to several songs and sing along (poorly) while playing...and that's about it. Basically, I'm a candidate for "front man" in a Toby Keith cover band. I don't want to rush through this time. With the card magic, or the book.

So...today I begin. It's all day working on the overhand shuffle (and probably several days after that). Hopefully, I've learned my lesson. I'm a "married with kid" guy who is inching closer to forty years old every day. It's about time I start learning some lessons.

I'll leave you with a creepy video starring the aforementioned Denny Haney (created by his daughter...and filmed in the Baltimore location of his magic shop).